John Bender
USPS – Brookfield
Things you should know and emphatically agree with me on…
HOBBIES: I currently own Chia Professor, Chia Pig (Honorary Dr. Squealgood Chia Pig groomed into a mulleted rocker) and Chia Kid
Looking to obtain: Chia Obama, Chia Ol Lady, Chia Bob and/or Brian
*This collection pales in comparison to my Zubaz collection
OTHER HOBBIES:
Entering chili competitions – Most recently, my team “Elongus Epididymis” won first place with our Neuticle Chili.
Pool Leagues – My team (co-ed) is called The Sexy Bitches, it’s Sloppy Sunday Fun Day
INTERESTS:
Bonfires – Until the neighbor Barbara comes over with her box of wine to say the flames are too high
Cooking – I never eat until everyone is served…then I wait a couple hours to make sure they’re okay
Tattoos: I’ve showed you mine, now show me yours.
Favorite Superheroes: The Wonder Twins
USPS – Brookfield
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