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Pre-7/27/94 - Bob will teach a bird to sing (talk) before Brian's son Nick.
Pre-7/27/94 - Bob will start speaking German to "turn the show around."
Pre-7/27/94 - Bob will change his name to "Bobb" (like Robb Edwards) to "turn the show around."
Pre-7/27/94 - Bob will shave his head bald. (NOTE: THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED )
Pre-7/27/94 - Gary Hoey/Joe Satriani have only 2 vocal chords, therefore they cannot sing. (You need 6.)
Pre-7/27/94 - There is such a thing as an "Off" (bug repellant) vat.
8/2/94 - Bob will enroll at the Citadel
10/17/94 - Bob will teach dog to do funny tricks
10/25/94 - "The Color Purple" needed so many black actors that whites in blackface were used, because the movie used up all the black actors in Hollywood.
1/31/95 - Fox 6's Tim Van Vooren is "Lassie's Timmy."
2/6/95 - George Lynch is 15 years old. He ends songs when he's famished
Actual Date Unknown - Jon Bon Jovi played Pugsley Addams on TV as a child.
4/10/95 - Oksana Baiul's skates are made of fenceposts and bolts she made.
5/16/95 - Bob's boyhood den meeting were actually housecleaning sessions for his drunken den mother. She would threaten the boys with a revolver.
7/10/95 - Bob served a tennis ball 114 mph. He knew how fast it was going because Deb was driving the car next to it.
7/19/95 - Bob heard that Meryl Streep wore hot pants and halter tops and lives in a trailer with a dog. Bob also heard that there was an orgy scene in "Bridges of Madison County."
7/21/95 - Check out the inside of a bra after the day is done. It will be filled with "Breast Goo." Bras are used as sanitary devices.
7/27/95 - EAA Fly-In this year ('95) will include an airplane made up of toilet paper tubes.
8/1/95 - Bob likes to scat, but his is a high-brow scat, like haiku scat.
8/8/95 - There were 17 Tabithas in "Bewitched" because they got too big during filming.
8/24/95- Sonja Henning's mom's name was Uter.
9/5/95 - There's an interactive CD-ROM game at the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame where you can be a rock star and try to stay away from drugs and alcohol.
9/28/95 - Pumpkin pies will be $40 apiece this year.
10/9/95 - The First Wisconsin (now Firstar) Building was built entirely from sketches on a napkin.
11/1/95 - November is Nude Month.
11/15/95 - Mir Space Station docking is most dangerous this time because they were shooting at each other for dramatic purposes.
12/15/95 - The White House started out as a 3 bedroom ranch.
2/19/96 - Chris Witte won the speedskating windsprints on double runners.
2/20/96 - In 1898, there were no shovels, so people had to kick away snow. In 1912, Eliza Shovel invented the shovel.
2/26/96 - Brian never flushes the toilet or drains his bathtub. That's why he has mosquitoes breeding in his bathroom.
4/9/96 - Bob is drinking whiskey from a tumbler during a live Opening Day remote from Luke's.
6/12/96 - While Brian was at the doctor the day before (for an infected leg scrape), they lost him and had to use the defib paddles to bring him back.
6/16/96 - Bob was going to beat the pet elephant at the company picnic senseless if Marilynn didn't show up to stop him.
7/1/96 - Brian "came over the table" at Tom Pippens during a taping of TV6's "Talking Sports" because of a minor disagreement.
7/2/96 - The HOG’s Remote trailer, The HOGPen floats; it's tires are actually pontoons.
8/13/96 - Sea lions need life jackets when they are first born. (They have to learn how to swim.)
9/6/96 - Brian once killed a man in an elevator. (The man actually had a heart attack.)
9/13/96 - The brain needs to be surrounded with 6 gallons of water.
10/22/96 - "Bob saves lives."
12/20/96 - The creases at Admirals games are blueberry flavored.
1/2/97 - Bob will get a tattoo on the top of his head. He'll grow his hair over it if he doesn't like it.
9/4/97 - There were 28 Flickas. You can see smoke coming out of his ears because of the cattle prod up his ass.
11/24/97 - Astronauts will rescue a satellite by forming a human chain.
8/27/98 - A sonic boom is caused by space rushing in to a tear in the atmosphere. A big danger of this is a star or supernova being sucked into the atmosphere.
10/25/00 - The L.A. Clippers drafted a high school J.V. player.
10/25/00 - There are no bibles in the Vatican.
10/25/00 - One of the Three Stooges died from a pitchfork in the eye from Moe.
2/9/01 - Bob only has seven teeth. It makes it very easy for him to floss.
9/21/04 –In the NFL, when the line of scrimmage is inside the 5-yard line a buttered football is put into play. (Referring to an Ahman Green fumble in the Bear game)
9/27/04 – The Seattle Supersonics play at the Lava Dome.
10/1/04 – Madonna got her truck drivers' license through a correspondence course.
10/14/04 – The hozzle connects the handle and scoop of a spoon.
10/21/04 – All women have shaved heads with extensions, fake color, and fake nails.
10/21/04 – If Paul Hamm doesn't give up his gold medal when ordered to, Janet Reno will bust in to his house and take it.
4/1/05 – Ted Koppel has been around ABC so long that he used to be known as Teddy.
4/4/05 – The pope regrets never getting his free Subway sub (always lost his punch card one sub short) and that he never hit a half court shot.
5/5/05 – Bob loves the TV show "Amalgamation in the Middle"
5/9/05 – Fort McCoy was named after Patton who was known as "McCoy"
5/11/05 – Soledad is the spot on you tongue that you can't reach with your brush (referring to Mount Soledad where it rained shrimp)
5/11/05 – A sea spout precedes a "D" or "E" spout
5/23/05 – "Double Latte" was the only line used in all Star Wars movies
6/10/05 – Captain America was based in Nebraska
7/18/05 – The FCC has a law that says after a certain amount of talk-time on the radio you have to get your own show (Bob's excuse to get his wife off the phone when talking about their vacation).
7/19/05 – MLB pitcher Kenny Rogers yelled at a K-Mart Photography Center photographer.
7/21/05 – Desmond Mason should be sure to talk only into Terry Stotts' right ear because his left ear is no good.
7/26/05 – The only difference between the Acura RL and the space shuttle is that the Acura has wheels.
8/17/05 – Hops are used in cereals such as Hoppy-O's.
8/29/05 – The "New Orleans" song (with lyrics, "…home of pirates, drunks, and whores…") from the Simpsons was paid for by the New Orleans Tourism Bureau.
9/9/05 – A refrigerator on the track makes racing tougher at the Chevy Rock N' Roll 400.
9/12/05 – Plutonium is the gas of the future. Bob knows this because he saw Back to the Future.
9/12/05 – A continuity problem in Jaws is when Roy Scheider has a moustache and wearing a pink ballerina outfit when he walks into the cabin to say, "You're gonna need a bigger boat."
9/19/05 – The movie "Open Water" is the movie that taught America to laugh again.
9/20/05 – Helen Hunt licked a tornado in the movie "Twister" and it tasted like cow.
10/3/05 – There's a $20 deposit on Supreme Court Justice robes.
10/17/05 – The original Pandas at the National Zoo were gifts from China and were "Spy Pandas" with microphones and cameras all over them. They were subsequently blown up.
10/26/05 – In Peg Lautenschlager's statement for the suit against MMSD she said that, "I could end up driving drunk into the lake and have turds in my hair."
10/31/05 – American Girl dolls have real eyes.
11/1/05 – Bob sold his left-over Halloween candy to his dentist for $2/lbs.
11/22/05 – Bob knew that Redskins' QB Patrick Ramsey wasn't going back into the game when he saw Joe Gibbs throw his helmet into the crowd. Gibbs then went for Ramsey's shoes.
11/28/05 – In order to build the Supreme Court building in Washington DC, a Citgo had to be torn down.
11/29/05 – You get everything from a jewelry box to afghans, suitcases, and snow blowers as free gifts with cologne.
12/5/05 – There was no sound on TV or in movies before 1968.
12/19/05 – Bob's aunt had to climb a tree to a wasp's nest to get the wax to close a 6-oz. jar of jelly.
12/20/05 – Turpitude (a term heard on Judge Alex) is what you clean your paint brushes with.
1/3/06 – Russell Crowe was the boxer in Star Wars.
1/5/06 – Paul McCartney shot John Lennon.
1/6/06 – VCRs now come taped to boxes of Fruity Pebbles.
1/10/06 – "Survivor" keeps going back to Panama because it's the only place on Earth where Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst can kill someone on the show and get away with it.
1/10/06 – The contestants on "The Swan" had to box to determine the winner.
1/11/06 – There are three bodyguards that guard Katie Holmes' ear to make sure nobody steals Tom Cruise's eggs.
1/12/06 – Bob heard that Marion Jones can barely make it through the supermarket without leaning on the cart because she gets exhausted. Bob can now also outrun Marion Jones.
1/13/06 – Bob went to Harney Peak which is the second highest peak this side of the Alps.
1/17/06 – On Bewitched, during the opening Samantha turns into King Kong and smashing the city.
1/25/06 – Bob & Brian used to call Keith Tozer "Mop-Top".
1/30/06 – George Bush, Sr., and Bill Clinton played catch outside of the Pope's funeral.
1/30/06 – Brian is George Bush's press liaison.
2/2/06 – Other groundhogs judge whether Punxsutawney Phil is right or not.
2/9/06 – Wide receivers will now be referred to as glide receivers.
2/15/06 – In the old days of ski jumping, jumpers had to chalk up their skis so they left a mark when they landed.
2/15/06 – 1029thehog.com is now open 24 hours (rather than the old 8AM-11PM hours)'
2/16/06 – Dick Cheney was responsible for Olympic skier Lindsey Kildow's accident during practice.
4/3/06 – The tradition at the Nabisco LPGA championship is to jump in a pond on 18 and eat an entire box of Nilla Wafers in under two minutes.
4/5/06 – On the Today Show, Katie Couric is perched on a branch.
4/13/06 – The Queens, NY, DA is Freddy Mercury.
5/5/06 – A horse in the Kentucky Derby (Fusaichi Pegasus) was 6 inches tall.
5/23/06 – With English as the official national language as the United States, speaking any other language becomes a crime. If you say "si" (see) it better be followed by "over
there", if you say "nein" (nine) it better come before "ten".
5/24/06 – Barbaro has a flat screen TV in his stall.
5/31/06 – Johnny Cash had a tennis court in his backyard while growing up, but his parents couldn't afford a tennis racket for him so he used his guitar to hit the ball.
6/1/06 – If Bob rides in a car with his dad, Bob will have to be buckled into a car seat.
6/5/06 – Prehistoric footprints found in quick-setting mud included a dragged muffler. (Brian added that there were also Nike footprints)
6/8/06 – Bob hasn't built up a tolerance to steroids. (Czabe's 2-cents: The only thing to grow bigger than Bonds is Clifford the Dog.)
6/12/06 – Instead of setting up the sprinkler this summer, Eric will turn the pressure washer on his kids. (Note: Allowing them to drink from the pressure washer may cut off
their uvula)
6/15/06 – Ben Roethlisberger will have to walk around with a spray bottle to keep his mouth moist.
6/19/06 – There was a saying when Bob was a kid that went: "Sticks and stones fix power companies, but names will never hurt me." (in reference to soccer fans that pelted a
power company with rocks and sticks because of power outages during World Cup games)
6/28/06 – Bob got Brian a 3-D butterfly jigsaw puzzle because people don't know that Brian has a passion for butterflies.
7/21/06 – Gas dipped to reasonable prices while Brian was away at camp before jumping to $3.29/gallon.
7/26/06 – Hurricanes are afraid of oil dereks.
8/10/06 – Jeff Daniels was in the studio just before Bob & Brian went into rehab due to them suffering from black outs.
8/21/06 – It was easier to attain Eagle Scout status in the early 1900's because they only had to know about fire & water.
8/23/06 – The traffic problems around State Fair Park was caused by the White Shirt Convention.
8/23/06 – Nicole Ritchie is so skinny you can see her kidneys from behind. (this may be true…)
8/23/06 – Carnie Wilson eats meals bigger than Nicole Ritchie.
8/28/06 – One Day at a Time with Bonny Franklin is the house cleaning show Brian was thinking of.
8/30/06 – Brian saved a woman that passed out at Noah's Ark by removing her shirt and performing chest compressions (she was talking the whole time).
8/30/06 – Players in the vintage baseball league will have to pay for their own ice if they want to ice their elbows after a game.
8/30/06 – Everyone loved the Music War.
9/5/06 – If Fidel Castro isn't dead by Christmas, Bob will fly to Cuba and shoot him by New Year's.
9/8/06 – If you can see you reflection in water your sunglasses aren't polarized.
9/8/06 – A fox can hear your eyes moving. (Brian: A bear could smell your eyes moving)
9/19/06 – "Dial, Dial, Dial" was an ABBA song.
10/3/06 – There are 705 surviving Wizard of Oz munchkins.
10/3/06 –Earl S. Tupper (inventor of Tupperware) was buried in a Tupperware coffin. They burped the air out, so he's still fresh.
10/19/06 – Bob is suiting up for the Packers this week for Koren Robinson.
11/6/06 – In a study that found that riding the bus was the safest way for kids to get to school, the other options researched were: strapping kids to rockets, cannon firing, and jet powered roller skates.
11/8/06 – The oceans will be safe to go into by 2042 because we'll be out of all fish.
11/9/06 – To help people into a shower a helper dog picks people up by the scruff of the neck and places them in the shower.
11/13/06 – A man attacked by a shark in Hawaii wouldn't shower the rest of his trip because he was afraid a shark would come out of the shower head.
11/13/06 – Dentists use Liquid Nails to keep veneers on.
11/17/06 – Due to a model weighing only 85 lbs. when she died of complications due to anorexia, only one pallbearer will be needed.
11/20/06 – Bob is going to the mall and running over people that are standing in parking spots.
11/21/06 – Gummy worms, apples, muskmelon, and shoe laces are things that can be baked into brownies
12/5/06 – In breaking news, the Jets just scored on the Packers again at just past 10AM on Tuesday.
12/12/06 – On the Island of Misfit Toys the doll's problem is that: a) she couldn't have a period, b) she was too fat; c) she had no breasts. Actually, Bookie the Book had no periods. He was just one run-on sentence.
12/12/06 – Mark Metcalf is the guy that pounds Rocky in the new Rocky Balboa movie.
12/12/06 – Nicole Ritchie (weighing in at a svelte 85-lbs) must dab her organs with a sponge to keep them wet. If she loses 10-15 pounds you could fit her in a zip-lock bag for her funeral (this may not be a lie). Somewhere there is a steakhouse that if you eat an 85-lbs. steak you get it for free.
12/13/06 – Feeding a cow other cow brains gives it a more cowy taste.
12/18/06 – Matt Kenseth was so happy with his DeWalt tools that he painted it all over his car.
1/3/06 – Andy Rooney hasn't had his eyebrows trimmed since VJ Day.
1/4/06 – You can tell the difference between a flag folded by a Girl Scout & Boy Scout by the European corners.
1/12/07 – Bob cannot tell the difference in taste between windshield washer fluid and blue Kool-Aid.
1/30/07 – They never said "pregnant" on I Love Lucy, but they said "placenta" a lot.
2/7/07 – Bob carries a jacket with him so he can put it over his head if he ever needs to do the "perp walk".
2/8/07 – When you walk into a casino you enter a "Must Smoke Zone" and are handed a pack of smokes.
2/8/07 – The crazy astronaut crapped in her diaper every inch of the 900 mile road trip…or maybe she was mumbling the whole way.
2/28/07 – At this point, Anne Nicole can be wiped away with a good spray of Shout.
3/5/07 – Rudy Giuliani sprayed Obama and Clinton with a fire hose during speeches honoring the civil right movement.
3/15/07 – "Harry Potter on a Plane with Snakes" is the title of the last Harry Potter movie.
3/20/07 – Since one of JJ Hardy's legs is stronger than the other, if they made him run he'd run in circles
4/12/07 – Kurt Vonnegut vowed to never write novels, and switched to full-page yellow page ads.
4/13/07 – Someone told Bob that Mike the Cakeman was blind. Upon finding out that he wasn't, Bob was less impressed.
4/18/07 – The 6-oz. beer sample law was a hot topic during the governor's race.
4/19/07 – Your tissues hold soda for roughly 20 years so all the 7-Up Bob drank from his prized can collection has passed through his system.
4/25/07 – Rosie O'Donnell ended a speech by grabbing her crotch and saying, "Eat me, Donald!"
4/25/07 – A raccoon can survive for 3 weeks on nothing but cigarette butts.
5/3/07 – A bee had Brian by the throat in the studio.
5/3/07 – Queen Elizabeth was a diesel mechanic in WWII. (Not a lie. Brian debunked on 8-7-07)
5/11/07 – Bob calls the FBI on a daily basis to report suspicious activity.
5/18/07 – Brian's lie: There were chickens in crates on their flight from Berlin on Air Kuwait.
5/21/07 – Popeye's Chicken was close to being Casper's.
5/25/07 – Yoda didn't want to train Luke Skywalker because he was 800 years old and said, "Retire not I can?"
5/30/07 – Czabe's Lie: The Utah Jazz have not won in San Antonio since Prohibition.
5/30/07 – Bindi Irwin will not sleep, or go to prom, until every stingray is dead.
6/15/07 – Harold Ramis was 14 when he directed Caddyshack and the gopher was a stuffed animal he kept in his room.
6/15/07 – Friday has been "Lady's Day" since 1964.
6/18/07 – Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers are now gone because we drank it all.
6/18/07 – Nicole Ritchie's vertebrae would shatter with 3 extra ounces on her frame. (This may not be a lie)
6/22/07 – Carrie doesn't let the water run while brushing her teeth due to a fear that a shark will come out.
7/19/07 – Gandhi could throw a football 60 yards flat-footed.
7/19/07 – 2008 is the year that Bob starts using his tongue to turn pages of a book. (This is due to the fact that he no longer has traction on his fingers)
7/23/07 – There was less confusion on Apollo 13 than there was trying to find Andres Romero's ball on the 17th hole of the British Open.
7/24/07 – Stephon Marbury blew out both ankles when he wore his shoes the first time.
8/1/07 – The KKK met because they wanted to change Cheeri-O's to Cheeri-K's.
8/8/07 – Barry Bonds pumped his fists and stomped on home plate after 756 just like Hank Aaron did.
8/22/07 – Rogan Shoes has been in business so long that their shoes would go on either foot.
8/23/07 – Each day 60,000 Chinese workers are pulled into the manufacturing machines. They don't stop the machines, they just hose them off and tell other workers to keep working.
8/29/07 – All giveaways at Buck's games will be made in China now that Yi has signed.
8/30/07 – Czaben's fancy new cell phone didn't come with a number 4.
8/30/07 – Char is the active ingredient in charcoal.
9/17/07 – Injuries are the reason hammock stands are no longer allowed on NFL sidelines.
9/19/07 – Bob thought it was weird when mortgages were being offered to aliens several years ago.
9/26/07 – On "Leave It To Beaver" we found out that Larry Mondello was so fat because he ate out of depression
9/28/07 – If LeBron James had stayed in school, he'd be a senior in high school this year.
10/2/07 – Bridget Moynahan has put Tom Brady's baby in Peyton Manning & Jets jerseys.
10/9/07 – Whole villages have been lost to exploding pumpkins.
12/5/07 – Jay Leno's employees had to sweep his garage while he was paying them out of his pocket.
12/17/07 – Dan Fogelberg can squat 700-lbs.
1/15/08 – The difference between President Bush's ranch and King Abdallah's ranch is that King Abdallah's horses have gold blood.
2/8/08 – Cars are expensive in Hawaii because cars have to swim out there, crawl up on the beach, and lay eggs. (Brian's lie)
2/12/08 – Beagles are bred for their delicious hindquarters.
2/14/08 – When Senator Craig was slapped (with the penalty for his bathroom issues), he asked to be slapped again.
2/25/08 – Scientists plan to paint the poles white and wash all polar bears to slow the melting of the ice/snow.
2/27/08 – If you want a $1 cup of coffee at Starbucks, you have to come in the back door.
2/28/08 – When looking at Elizabeth Hurley, thought it was Tom Selleck..
2/29/08 – Ricin is a salad dressing.
3/4/08 – Don Majkowski called and said his ankle was healed and he was ready to play again.
3/5/08 – Nicole Ritchie's baby was as big as a stick of butter when it crawled out of her marsupial pouch.
3/17/08 – A clue on Lost that Jin’s scenes were a flashback was the Sonny & Cher tickets hanging on the fridge.
4/1/08 – Bob has his vibrating football game leaned against his wife’s wedding dress in a closet at his house.
4/3/08 – When soldiers liberated France, they got free croissants and a good deal on escargot. When they liberated Italy, they got a free salad with every meal.
4/16/08 – Despite all the snow/rain we got this winter the fire danger in Wisconsin forests is still “extremely high” due to the fact that we got rare drying, or gas, snow.
5/19/08 – Mountain lions cannot climb steep inclines.
6/1/08 – Bob’s dad told him that, “you’ll heal, your cell phone won’t.”
8/25/08 – The theme of the DNC is, “Republicans. What a bunch of gerks.”
9/2/08 – Derrick Obama is a white guy named Derrick.
9/11/08 – You can only hit hard on third down and you can’t hit a guy in the back.
9/12/08 – Beer is piling up at cash registers around the country because people walk out and become disenfranchised with drinking because they have to show their ID.
10/2/08 – Biden has been practicing his debate skills against an Everlast punching bag with lipstick and a wig.
10/2/08 – Palen has been instructed to let her hair down and undo a couple buttons if things go bad in the debate.
10/8/08 – Bo Ryan’s book is a Nancy Drew-like mystery.
10/20/08 – Everytime someone says one of the banned phrases on the “1 Question Line”, Bob will hand Brian a $20 bill.
11/24/08 – “Inside voices” is the rule on the Bob & Brian show.
11/25/08 – The third place schedule in the NFL gets you a minimum of 12-13 home games
12/10/08 – Bob has dedicated his life to preserving the memory of the saber-toothed cheetah
12/15/08 – The reporter that threw two shoes at Pres. Bush was offered a job on “The View”.
1/16/09 – Bob is glad his broadcasting forefathers moved broadcasting indoors. This is opposed to when they used to build large fires and broadcast outdoors.
2/3/09 – Brian is in Los Angeles and Bob is in New York.
2/13/09 – George Strait’s nickname is the “Collie Molester”.
2/25/09 – Winning was too easy for Tiger Woods so he had doctors rebuild his knee.
Big Thanks to our lie archivist Pete Fritz (a proud member of the Throbbing Brain).
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